My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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