Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
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His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
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I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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