everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
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for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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