Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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