Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
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I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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