Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
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Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
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Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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