We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
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he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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