True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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