Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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