Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
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I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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