She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize