It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
farters have to be the big spoon...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
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She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
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All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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