and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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