I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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