Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize