i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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