Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
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The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
wow bdsm is so cute
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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