so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize