I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
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But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
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You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
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