what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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