So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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