Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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