And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
my being single is dangerous.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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