We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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