your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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