do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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