It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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