Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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