So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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