8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize