you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
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His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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