are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize