Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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