If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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