Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I love having hate sex.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize