The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
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My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
ok first of all what the fuck
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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