How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize