Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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