smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
do herpes really smell.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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