i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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