Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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