Life is so much better after having sex.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
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That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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