my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize