You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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