My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize