No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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