hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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