YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
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your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
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After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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