pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize