remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
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don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
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"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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